A number of years ago I went to see a game of football it was Germany V England. The score at the end of the game was 5-1 to us. it was really quite unbelievable. I remember that night I was coming home on the tube and over the loud speaker came " Just in case you don't believe it England 5 Germany 1. This episode got me thinking about today's Gospel. And ask the question.
Have you ever doubted what someone has said to you? I know that I do. We can hear ourselves say things like. Really ? Never? We then go through a long rigmarole of either trying to find out the truth or taking something on face value but never really believing it. Thomas in today's gospel has to have evidence before he really believes that Jesus has risen from the dead. He has to physically touch and see. In some respects I can see where Thomas is coming from. If we look at the events of Holy Week and put ourselves in the disciples shoes Would we question it all. This is Thomas.
And then think to myself well actually I am like Thomas a lot. And I think the gospel writers maybe felt that they had to prove to generations to come that Jesus was real and not a ghost. So I began to look at the gospels over the last week and I noticed that there was lots of places where it talked about food. He ate in front of the disciples a proof if there was any that he was real and really risen from the dead.
Sometimes though in the dark times,despite the evidence of the gospel, of my life I realised that I two have found it hard to believe. I have been a doubting Thomas. When we are in those times we stare into a void of non belief. Things become a struggle our prayer life goes to pot We question everything even ourselves and we doubt everything. We are like Thomas looking for evidence unless I see with my own eyes and touch him. We say like Thomas "I refuse to believe." Notice the first word in this a short but significant sentence "I" you a can imagine him with arms folded being really quite stubborn.
His reaction is not uncommon. A mature faith in the Lord is a one that questions and asks questions. It is good sometimes to ask questions and also to doubt. The questions I have had and also the doubts I have had has made my faith stronger. Notice that Thomas was able to say at the end after his faith had been restored he was able to say " my Lord and my God " a simple but profound act of faith. He doubted no longer. But Jesus gives an explanation to this statement of faith. You believe because you see me. Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.
When John wrote his gospel it was in about 90 AD he was talking through Jesus to his own community giving them encouragement. It also gives us encouragement. There are times when we can like Thomas touch the Lord but these are few and so what helps us is that we believe in the Lord although we do not see.
And for us too in the midst of doubt where we see the Lord where do we expense his mercy. Our doubts are over shadowed when we discover Christ again. When we come to a realisation that he is with us and loves us. When we experience our doubts the thunder care of the Lord. I have met countless people who have after many years come back to faith because they hear his call through others and also by feeling his touch in their lives either paradoxically through a breve meant or through a birth of a new child. They begin to see where the Lord has been at work in their lives.
And yet we also encounter the Lord. In the sacraments we encounter the Lord. In the body and blood of Jesus he touches us we eat and take God in the sacrament of reconciliation we encounter his infinite mercy.
Comments